Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
