Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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