at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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