Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
