I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
