So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I am available for nakedness
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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