My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
