As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
