Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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