I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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