A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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