he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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