also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
