I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
