Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
