He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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