we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
