oh god the rape fog is back!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
