VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
