I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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