just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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