he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize