I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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