Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
