i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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