well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize