dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
