We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
