yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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