dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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