I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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