I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
