omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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