Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
