Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
