U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
soo... how was my night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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