4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize