I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
