I think i peed on brittanys purse
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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