What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
But theres a keg here and me gusta
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
