there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
