I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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