I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
