Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
