butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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