Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
