your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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