i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize