I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This house was built for laser tag.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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