Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
