4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
