She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
