I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
