Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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