someone get that fucking seahorse.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
