you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
