Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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