my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
