I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
