I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
