Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That's intense
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
