U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
