I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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