never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
