I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
