I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My breasts were aching with rage.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
